Thursday, April 30, 2009

Astrology.com: AstroSlam

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Dear As,
Here is your AstroSlam
for Friday, May 1:


Be advised that someone may take one of your offhand jokes seriously. Too bad for them. It's not your fault they don't have a sense of humor. Look at it as a litmus test for your friendship. Clearly they failed!

Will love find you in the New Year? Find out with a Free Psychic Love Reading. Call 800-648-9187.

Check out your horoscopes for yesterday, tomorrow, or today's extended.

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The Astrology.com Team http://www.astrology.com/
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Additional Horoscopes

Aries: Be the protagonist in your own cheesy romance novel today. Imagine: your hair blowing in the wind as you stand on a hilltop watching your lover scale the mountain on horseback. Bodice ripping is guaranteed.

Taurus: You're about to be upgraded (or is that downgraded?) from arrogant to pompous. The tolerant people around you are on the verge of growing intolerant, the kind are becoming unkind. Get over yourself before they do!

Gemini: Be advised that someone may take one of your offhand jokes seriously. Too bad for them. It's not your fault they don't have a sense of humor. Look at it as a litmus test for your friendship. Clearly they failed!

Cancer: It's always best to pay your bills and balance your accounts before going shopping, but it isn't nearly as much fun. Surprise a loved one with your frivolity. Make sure it's the best frivolity money can buy!

Leo: No matter how difficult things are or how miserably you've failed, you always move with a regal grace that belies your real situation. Stay focused on work. Give your real stature a chance to catch up with the fantasy one.

Virgo: Your day will be as overwhelming as opening day at the fair: people scurrying past, asking your opinion, stepping on your toes. By the end of it all you'll be ready to seek refuge with the prize winning sheep in the 4H tent.

Libra: Others look to you for answers today. If you don't have them, you'll need to find them. If you can't find them you'll need to make something up. Be creative, tell them what they want to hear and you'll be celebrated.

Scorpio: Your career and your ego are on a collision course today. If you don't manage to lose the ego, you might end up losing your job. You'd be wise to rein in your flamboyant nature and proceed with caution.

Sagittarius: Lady Luck is smiling on you, but be careful -- she has a slight sneer on her lips. She might be setting you up for the journey of a lifetime, or a plummet straight to the bottom. Be cautious, and hedge your bets.

Capricorn: Ask for separate checks if you go to lunch with a group or you might get stuck with more than your share of the bill. People who present themselves as gentle saviors may actually be orchestrating your demise.

Aquarius: You may quite innocently stumble upon some valuable information today. Curb your impulse to lash out if you don't like what you find. Power struggles will require compromise. It may be a foreign idea, but it's worth trying.

Pisces: While getting snagged in the gossip vortex of those around you can be great fun, it always ends in tears. Be leery of anyone whose jaw flaps a little too loosely today. It'll be you they're talking about next!






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