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Don't settle for anything less than a good day. If you're on your own in the doghouse, then it takes some creativity. But if kids are around, it's just about effortless. Either way, enjoy.
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One good thing about being home alone is opting out of the ever shifting alliances of the dog park. They can just be so exhausting. In fact, you should spend the day recovering from your last trip there.
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You're always treated like a lightweight and that's getting a bit old. Find out what will make you look more intellectual if you want to be taken seriously, unless you think the sadder and wiser look is more your style.
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Sure, you deserve plenty of attention, but unfortunately you have to act outrageous to get it. It's the Catch-22 of your relationship with your human. Too bad you're the only one aware of it.
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Being good all day long isn't your only achievement but it is your most glorious. Make sure you're rewarded accordingly. The regular ration of biscuits just won't do.
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Don't brag about all of your strengths. Why let on? Being the underdog has its benefits, and the added protection of your human is just the top of a long list.
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It goes without saying you want to be among friends, but you'll find that being with people can be just as satisfying. In fact, if you can keep the group active, it can be downright fun.
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How much work you have to do depends more on your owner than on you. Gauge your human the moment they walk in the door. If they seem stressed, don't beg for biscuits, just be nice.
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You might not have a sense of humor but you love nothing more than seeing your human laugh. Devotion does that to a dog. Goodwill is in abundance in the doghouse. Enjoy.
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It's not an easy day, and that makes you not want to share. But who can resist your beloved human? Go ahead, make the token gesture. They won't want whatever you drop at their feet anyway.
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You'll discover something about yourself, and you'll learn it the hard way. If you'd never slipped your collar, then you'd never know that sudden changes can be scary when mixed with freedom. But that's just an example.
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Where or where have the table scraps gone? Your owner's diet has become a bit of a problem for you. If they can manage a diet, why can't they try more exercise too? That way you wouldn't be paying the ultimate price. Point out the obvious.
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